Choose love. Two simple words that we tend to make so complicated in marriage. Of course you love your spouse, that is why you married them. But I love you and to choose love are two different things in my opinion.
Dan and I have been married for almost 2.5 years. We are babies at marriage. Actually, we are almost toddlers. Every single day we are learning and working and learning and working. We have days that are great and we have days that could have been better. But regardless what kind of day we have had, at the end of it we always try to choose love. We want to communicate better. We want to understand one another. We want to have a healthy, thriving marriage. So, even on those tough days...we choose love.
I just wanted to share a few helpful tips that we have instilled into our marriage to help us choose love. We are still a work in progress. Most of the days where we have missed the mark it is because we decided to think selfishly rather than choose love. As a couple, Dan and I have the hardest time choosing love when we are in a disagreement. Surprise, surprise ;) These are two of the things we do to choose love during those moments. THEY ARE GAME CHANGERS!
- Take a breather! During a disagreement, we sometimes allow our emotions to get the best of us and we just might overreact a little bit. I do not show much emotion but I am an emotional person. When we can start to sense that we may not be seeing eye to eye on a situation, we take control before it gets out of control. One of us will step to the other room for a few minutes so we have time to clear our mind of our emotions and process what we actually want to say and mean. This has helped us SO much.
- After we have processed what was going on, we come back together and talk about how we can find a resolution. This part can actually be really hard because sometimes our pride gets the best of us and we want the other person to see our side. Our point of view. But for Dan and myself, we are two different people who think completely different and can rarely understand what the other person is trying to say haha. We come together to figure out WHAT the issue was and HOW we are going to solve it. That doesn't mean we dismiss how the other person was feeling but we do not make that the main point of the conversation.
- And we forgive. We forgive so we can be free. So we can continue to love. I used to have this mentality that it's okay for me to stay mad. I would say things to myself like "I don't want to talk about it yet. I'm still mad. I am allowed to be mad." God starting convicting me and I was able to see that that way of thinking was all wrong. I can acknowledge my feelings of being upset or angry but then I need to forgive. Until I started doing this I never really experienced true freedom in my marriage. I was constantly hurt deep down about something because I had unforgiveness stirirng in my heart. PRAY AND FORGIVE!
Doing these two simple steps is a way of choosing love when it may seem the hardest.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."- 1 Peter 4:8